So, here we are. I am 35 weeks pregnant, today. I am contracting like a mad woman and this baby GIRL is such a busy bee inside of me. She is pretty much active non-stop. I can't wait to see her little face, and smell her sweet baby smell.
This has probably been the hardest year of my life. There have been SO many downs, and not a lot of ups. I am really struggling to understand what and why. I know that this baby is going to be a wonderful blessing to me, I just wish I could see into the future a little bit. I need to know that everything is going to be okay. I need to know that I am woman enough to get through the trials that I have been given this past year.
I am afraid. I am very afraid. Maybe this little lady is coming to be my comfort. I just don't know.
I feel the need to tell my children how much they mean to me. I literally would not get out of bed every day if I didn't have them. Literally.
Gavin William: You are my right hand. I in NO way, shape, or form would have made it this far without you. I can always count on you to look out for me and to love me and to help me when I need it. You are becoming such a handsome man. I am sorry that I had to learn all my parenting lessons on you first. You deserve better. You are a blessing............I love you.
Addie Reece: You are such a joy. You are growing so much, you are becoming such a a little lady. You are so beautiful, I can't believe I made something so pretty! You are becoming more independent and sure. I know that you will be a great help when your little sister is born. I'm sorry that I am not always patient with you. You are a blessing............I love you.
Rainier Edgar: My little man. I love you so much, even though you don't think I do. You are so smart and strong and active. I miss your cuddles. I miss having you be my "baby". I hope that you will see the light when the new baby comes. I am sorry that my temper is short with you. You have NOT been replaced in my heart. You are a blessing................I love you.
Pierce Sterling: You are our sunshine. You have the ability to light up any place that you enter. You are warm and happy and full of life. I am so sorry that I haven't been able to enjoy every little minute of your 11 months here. I have been preoccupied. But I love you so much. I hope you will be okay when your sister gets here. I am so glad that Gavin loves you so very much. You are a blessing...............I love you.
